Q & A about Men

Posted by Swanie | 9.11.05 | | 0 comments »

Q: What do you call a man with half a brain?
A: Gifted.

Q: What is the thinnest book in the world?
A: "What Men Know About Women"

Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One ... men will screw anything.

Q: How does a man take a bubble bath?
A: He eats beans for dinner.

Q: How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A: We don't know .... it's never happened.

Q: What is a man's idea of helping with the housework?
A: Lifting his leg so you can vacuum.

Q: What's the difference between a man and E.T.?
A: E.T. phoned home.

Q: What did God say after creating man?
A: I can do better.

Q: What are the two reasons why men don't mind their own business?
A: 1. No mind. 2. No business.

Q: How is a man like a snowstorm?
A: Because you don't know when it's coming, how many inches you'll get, and how long it'll stay.

Q: Why is it so hard for women to find men who are sensitive, caring, and good looking?
A: Because those men already have boyfriends.

Q: How do men sort their laundry?
A: "Filthy" and Filthy but wearable"

Q: Husband: "I don't know why you wear a bra, you've go nothing to put in it."
A: Wife: "You wear briefs, don't you?"

Q: Why do women fake orgasms?
A: Because men fake foreplay!

Q:What is the real difference between men and women?
A:A woman wants one man to satisfy all her needs. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.

Q:Why do men like smart, sexy women?
A:Opposites attract.

Q:Why is psychoanalysis so much quicker for men than for women?
A:Men don't need to be regressed back to their childhood.

Q:Why are well-dressed men always married?
A:Because their wife chooses their clothes for them.

Q:Why are men such wankers?
A:Because they have a willy with a head but no brains that hangs out with two nuts and lives next door to an arsehole.

Q:What do a beer bottles and men have in common?
A:They are both empty from the neck up.

Q:Why can women never find their way to a man's heart?
A:Because they aim too high.

Q:Why are men so bad at sex and driving?
A:Because the bastards always pull out with no thought of who else might be coming.

Q:Why does it take three million sperm to fertilize one single egg?
A:Because they're too stupid to find the right way.

Q:What is the difference between men and premium bonds?
A:Premium bonds might mature.

Man: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"
God: "So you would love her."
Man:"But God, why did you make her so dumb?"
God: "So she would love a wanker like you."

One day God called Adam to him and said: "Adam, I have some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first?""The good news," replied Adam."Well, the good news is I gave you a penis and a brain.""OK.." said Adam warily. "And what's the bad news?""I only gave you enough blood to operate one at time."

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